Being a full time Mum is challenging.
There are physical challenges of waking early, waking in the middle of the night, surviving on minimal sleep as a result, and long work days. There are creative and educational challenges to keep things interesting and new for you and your kids. There are emotional challenges of standing up to your children and being consistent with your rules when they misbehave. There are challenges of isolation when you have no one to have a quick chat with, or have a coffee and giggle with over lunch. There are challenges of finding fulfilment when there are no bosses to pat you on the back, and no bonuses paid out!
These are all challenges that can affect how my day pans out.
There are days that sail by so smoothly and I have unending patience, my boys are lovelier than angels, and to them I am the nicest, most loveliest mummy on the planet. We go out on adventures down by the river, I teach them new things and they show me how smart they are, we read dozens of books in one sitting, and we sing and we dance, and we paint and we glue, and have lots of fun. On these good days when I put the boys down to bed and close the door, I grin and think "mission accomplished!"
That's a really great day.
Then there a days where everything seems to fall to pieces. They wake at some ungodly hour and sleep before lunch, which puts the whole day out of whack, making them tired and cranky by dinner. Other times the day seems to disintegrate because the boys are pushing the boundaries and I have to discipline them. Usually there's only one of them pushing the boundaries, but a week ago it was both at the same time. Hard.
Then there are days when you know you're not doing something the right way, and you have to find a new way. I'm so blessed to have a husband who is really encouraging and is a great sounding board for my ideas. He also has tremendous input into how we raise the kids, and if he sees something amiss he'll certainly point it out! He's usually working from home too, which is great as I feel more accountable with what I am doing with the boys on a daily basis.
Recently I had a personal 'victory' when strategising a new approach to counter the 'Thomas the Tank Engine addiction phase' that I wrote about in an earlier article. At that time I felt like the steering wheel had come off, and I had lost total control of where we were going! The boys were just careering here and there. It took some thought and actual strategy to try and get back in control.
The new rules that we've been working with are:
a) TV only on Saturday mornings, for no more than 2 hours, of vetted viewing material, else supervised viewing.
b) Trainset can only be played with on Thursdays
c) I will only read one Thomas book each day
d) More focussed prayer for them when they are acting up
I can say this has worked wonders.
In addition to restricting TV viewing, we physically repositioned the couch so it no longer faces the TV. The boys don't even ask me about the TV! It's like it's not there! They are content to find things to play with, or make up their own games. It's marvellous!!
With the trainset only available to them on Thursdays, I've found that they get their 'fill' within a couple of hours, and even though I leave it out for them, they don't play with it much after that. By bedtime I ask them to help me pack it away, and there are no dramas.
Likewise with the Thomas books, just lessening the focus on this character has been beneficial. In its place I've dug out all our Bible storybooks and taught them about David and Goliath, and Noah, and Daniel and the Lions, and about Jesus. They love the stories, and I feel like an idiot for not reading them to them sooner!
I've been wondering around in the wilderness myself. I'm so glad I'm back on track!
Lastly, prayer has been like a rock during crazy times. I use prayer like a weapon against things that affect my children, and I use it like a refuelling tank for my own strength and wisdom. And boy do I need it!
Being a full time Mum puts life into perspective. Things like project deadlines and reports make me want to laugh. They used to be so important before! I can't believe they used to keep me up at night!
Instead I am the manager of two wonderful, incredible little people, with whom I have to use my full capabilities and talents into developing two mature 'great people' with a mind and heart for God and His purposes. What a huge responsibility, what an honour, what an exciting challenge!
What more fulfilling career could there be?
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Tuesday, 20 March 2012
Friday, 3 February 2012
A Sleep Over Every Night
JJ and SamSam sleep in the same room. They've slept together since JJ was two and a half years old, and SamSam one and a half.
Their beds, which are cots without one side on, are positioned head to toe. The door has only just enough space to open and close, but we found this configuration frees up a lot of room for play.
I remember when we first put them in the same room, I was a little apprehensive and wondering how many times I was going to have to get up to settle two crying toddlers! I needn't have been so worried.
Putting them together was a really good idea. It freed up time as I could put them down to sleep in one go, rather than two separate rooms at two separate times. It also freed up an extra room for a guest room.
It took a couple of nights before JJ totally ignored SamSam's cries in the night, and soon SamSam stopped waking up too - I realised he was having dreams because I'd dressed him too warmly! (they have totally different heat and cold sensitivity).
The first year they shared a bedroom was very good. They went to sleep really well. We would tuck them in, pray with them, kiss them good night, turn on their bedtime music, and switch off the lights. They'd fall asleep with no issues.
However, as they've grown they've become more playful and a bit mischievious. To add to that, now that they can communicate verbally with each other it's been taking a really long time for them to go to sleep. There's just so much laughter going on in there! Sometimes I have to go into their room five times before they finally settle down. Sometimes I find toys in their bed, or JJ is reading in the dim glow of the window light! But most times they're rolling on top of each other in SamSam's bed!
The solution I've come up with a few nights ago seems to be working. I sit on the floor at the entrance of their room until they sleep!!! Night number 1 and number 2, it took them 45 minutes before they slept! (I had a sore bum afterwards). But last night, it took only 15 minutes. I think they now understand my no-nonsense policy, so they've given up trying to play, and just settle in to sleep. We'll see how they go tonight anyway!
I'm hoping that after a week of getting used to my watchful eye, they'll just automatically go straight to bed, and I'll quietly slip away.
An unexpected benefit of sitting and waiting for them to sleep (which was so boring the first night), is that I decided it was a good opportunity to start reading. Not only that, but I've realised I can really make the most of this time by praying for my boys. The book that I'm reading and praying through is 'The Power of a Praying Parent' by Stormie OMartian.
I believe that prayer can make an incredible difference. Prayer is so powerful. It has the power to change lives, to heal, to protect, there's so much! In my life, prayer is vital. It is the way I receive strength, peace and wisdom to live my life - through talking and listening to my loving Father in heaven.
'The Power of a Praying Parent' is a really good, practical book, that has chapters about different areas of your children's life that you may want to pray for. At the end of each chapter is a specific prayer that you can pray for them. Some examples are for their protection; resisting rebellion; good family relationships; purity; freedom from fear and many other areas that I would not have thought about, but I now see are very important.
Hey, I should pray that they sleep faster!!
I had started to read the book last year, before I went to bed, but somehow I got distracted - probably by sleep... Now that I have a set time to sit and wait for the boys, I have very good discipline and good motivation!
I couldn't recommend this book highly enough.
Their beds, which are cots without one side on, are positioned head to toe. The door has only just enough space to open and close, but we found this configuration frees up a lot of room for play.
I remember when we first put them in the same room, I was a little apprehensive and wondering how many times I was going to have to get up to settle two crying toddlers! I needn't have been so worried.
Putting them together was a really good idea. It freed up time as I could put them down to sleep in one go, rather than two separate rooms at two separate times. It also freed up an extra room for a guest room.
It took a couple of nights before JJ totally ignored SamSam's cries in the night, and soon SamSam stopped waking up too - I realised he was having dreams because I'd dressed him too warmly! (they have totally different heat and cold sensitivity).
The first year they shared a bedroom was very good. They went to sleep really well. We would tuck them in, pray with them, kiss them good night, turn on their bedtime music, and switch off the lights. They'd fall asleep with no issues.
However, as they've grown they've become more playful and a bit mischievious. To add to that, now that they can communicate verbally with each other it's been taking a really long time for them to go to sleep. There's just so much laughter going on in there! Sometimes I have to go into their room five times before they finally settle down. Sometimes I find toys in their bed, or JJ is reading in the dim glow of the window light! But most times they're rolling on top of each other in SamSam's bed!
The solution I've come up with a few nights ago seems to be working. I sit on the floor at the entrance of their room until they sleep!!! Night number 1 and number 2, it took them 45 minutes before they slept! (I had a sore bum afterwards). But last night, it took only 15 minutes. I think they now understand my no-nonsense policy, so they've given up trying to play, and just settle in to sleep. We'll see how they go tonight anyway!
I'm hoping that after a week of getting used to my watchful eye, they'll just automatically go straight to bed, and I'll quietly slip away.
An unexpected benefit of sitting and waiting for them to sleep (which was so boring the first night), is that I decided it was a good opportunity to start reading. Not only that, but I've realised I can really make the most of this time by praying for my boys. The book that I'm reading and praying through is 'The Power of a Praying Parent' by Stormie OMartian.
'The Power of a Praying Parent' is a really good, practical book, that has chapters about different areas of your children's life that you may want to pray for. At the end of each chapter is a specific prayer that you can pray for them. Some examples are for their protection; resisting rebellion; good family relationships; purity; freedom from fear and many other areas that I would not have thought about, but I now see are very important.
Hey, I should pray that they sleep faster!!
I had started to read the book last year, before I went to bed, but somehow I got distracted - probably by sleep... Now that I have a set time to sit and wait for the boys, I have very good discipline and good motivation!
I couldn't recommend this book highly enough.
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