Ups and Downs of a Full Time Mum

Being a full time Mum is challenging.

There are physical challenges of waking early, waking in the middle of the night, surviving on minimal sleep as a result, and long work days. There are creative and educational challenges to keep things interesting and new for you and your kids. There are emotional challenges of standing up to your children and being consistent with your rules when they misbehave. There are challenges of isolation when you have no one to have a quick chat with, or have a coffee and giggle with over lunch. There are challenges of finding fulfilment when there are no bosses to pat you on the back, and no bonuses paid out!

These are all challenges that can affect how my day pans out.

There are days that sail by so smoothly and I have unending patience, my boys are lovelier than angels, and to them I am the nicest, most loveliest mummy on the planet. We go out on adventures down by the river, I teach them new things and they show me how smart they are, we read dozens of books in one sitting, and we sing and we dance, and we paint and we glue, and have lots of fun. On these good days when I put the boys down to bed and close the door, I grin and think "mission accomplished!"

That's a really great day.

Then there a days where everything seems to fall to pieces. They wake at some ungodly hour and sleep before lunch, which puts the whole day out of whack, making them tired and cranky by dinner. Other times the day seems to disintegrate because the boys are pushing the boundaries and I have to discipline them. Usually there's only one of them pushing the boundaries, but a week ago it was both at the same time. Hard.

Then there are days when you know you're not doing something the right way, and you have to find a new way. I'm so blessed to have a husband who is really encouraging and is a great sounding board for my ideas. He also has tremendous input into how we raise the kids, and if he sees something amiss he'll certainly point it out! He's usually working from home too, which is great as I feel more accountable with what I am doing with the boys on a daily basis.

Recently I had a personal 'victory' when strategising a new approach to counter the 'Thomas the Tank Engine addiction phase' that I wrote about in an earlier article. At that time I felt like the steering wheel had come off, and I had lost total control of where we were going! The boys were just careering here and there. It took some thought and actual strategy to try and get back in control.

The new rules that we've been working with are:

a) TV only on Saturday mornings, for no more than 2 hours, of vetted viewing material, else supervised viewing.
b) Trainset can only be played with on Thursdays
c) I will only read one Thomas book each day
d) More focussed prayer for them when they are acting up

I can say this has worked wonders.

In addition to restricting TV viewing, we physically repositioned the couch so it no longer faces the TV. The boys don't even ask me about the TV! It's like it's not there! They are content to find things to play with, or make up their own games. It's marvellous!!

With the trainset only available to them on Thursdays, I've found that they get their 'fill' within a couple of hours, and even though I leave it out for them, they don't play with it much after that. By bedtime I ask them to help me pack it away, and there are no dramas.

Likewise with the Thomas books, just lessening the focus on this character has been beneficial. In its place I've dug out all our Bible storybooks and taught them about David and Goliath, and Noah, and Daniel and the Lions, and about Jesus. They love the stories, and I feel like an idiot for not reading them to them sooner!

I've been wondering around in the wilderness myself. I'm so glad I'm back on track!

Lastly, prayer has been like a rock during crazy times. I use prayer like a weapon against things that affect my children, and I use it like a refuelling tank for my own strength and wisdom. And boy do I need it!

Being a full time Mum puts life into perspective. Things like project deadlines and reports make me want to laugh. They used to be so important before! I can't believe they used to keep me up at night!

Instead I am the manager of two wonderful, incredible little people, with whom I have to use my full capabilities and talents into developing two mature 'great people' with a mind and heart for God and His purposes. What a huge responsibility, what an honour, what an exciting challenge!

What more fulfilling career could there be?

A New Leaf

Last week was a bit of a disaster.

Because I left the boys trainset out (see last entry), I found that they were happy to play independently from me, and it was just too easy for me to slack off and not interact and teach them new things.

On top of that, we had many playdates and other outings which ate into our normal day's schedule. The plus side is they met and interacted with so many people.

On the downside, they picked up gastro along the way, and I have lost count how many times I have cleaned toilets, potties, carpet and floor over the last two days!

This week I'm turning over a new leaf. It's back to structure, and away with the trainset. I have abolished all TV except educational DVDs shown at 4pm while I cook dinner. Let's see how this goes.

Thomas the Tank Engine Obsession

JJ and SamSam LOVE trainsets.

We have an IKEA railway set and eight trains from the Thomas the Tank Engine series.

However, I've been increasingly troubled that they are almost obsessed with Thomas and his friends. The first thing SamSam looks for when he wakes up are his Thomas and Gordon toys. The books they want me to read are Thomas books. The program they want to watch on DVD/TV is Thomas!

Even this evening, SamSam was even looking at grapes in his bowl and giving them names "This is Thomas, and this is Salty".

I have some objections about a lot of Thomas the Tanks Engine stories - books and TV episodes and movies included. While they all have some sort of 'moral' where a train will learn why they should or shouldn't act a certain way, most of the conversations between trains are not nice. They're actually quite mean. And young kids just don't understand that it's not good to be that way. Instead they look up to all the trains as role models, and pick up everything they say and do.

In particular I really dislike the 'Day of the Diesels' movie, it has some nasty themes. I purposely lost the DVD!

This week I also had to also hide a book about 'Stepney'. In it, children learn about being afraid of the dark (my boys are not afraid of the dark and I want to keep it that way!), and being scared of spooky things.

To try and undo their 'Thomas obsession'. I thought I could do a sort of un-rotation, and leave the trainset out in their room so they could play with it anytime they want.

It didn't work.

Instead all week, they preferred to play in the room with their trains. It was hard to get them interested in doing other things. And I've just remembered that last week I let them watch Thomas on the TV every day... no wonder they are obsessed with it, I've been feeding it! :( :(

This week when I did some simple writing and craft activities I noticed that even their concentration has been diminished. This is serious stuff! They usually have incredible concentration powers.

In the end, un-rotation didn't work.

I've put away the trainset again. I think it will see even less daylight than normal.

I now have a strict policy of reading only one 'Thomas book' a day, and I've banned Thomas on the DVD/TV until further notice.

It's time to nip this Thomas obsession in the bud!